Why my parents so old and stupid fuck off
“Honor your father and your mother”
“Gargle my dick and balls”
moment of silence for everyone who relied on AI chat bots for research when it’s going around saying shit like this.
[image description: search that reads “country in africa that starts with K”. the featured snipped is from www.emergentmind.com and reads “While there are 54 recognized countries in Africa, none of them begin with the letter "K". The closest is Kenya, which starts with a "K" sound, but is actually spelled with a "K" sound. It's always interesting to learn new trivia facts like this.” /end ID]
Thinking about those egg tubes
For those confused in the notes, these are mostly sold to restaurants. Egg salad and egg garnish in retaurant food needs to look attractive; ever notice how if you get a salad in a lot of these places, the pieces are always perfect slices with white on the outside and yolk in the middle? Most of a sliced egg doesn't look like that because of the shape that the egg and yolk is, so if they were just boiling and slicing eggs, they'd have to throw out more than half the egg if they wanted their slices to look nice.
These tubes are just made of normal eggs but boiled together in along tube shape. This way the whole thing looks pretty except the ends. That's more egg per egg! They also store and transport easier than separate eggs, and because they're sold precooked they save a lot of boiling and egg peeling time in the kitchen and result in a far more consistent product, cooked to perfection. Slicing up a big egg tube is much faster and produces better results than the kitchen staff having to boil and peel eggs themselves each time.
TIL about tube eggs. :)
how many synonyms for “penis” do I actually know?
and how many of those synonyms am I actually willing to use
tier 1 (most accepted, considered sexy): cock, dick
tier 2 (generally accepted): length, manhood, member, shaft
tier 3 (clinical, too formal, but not cheesy): groin, penis, phallus
tier 4 (cheesy, barely acceptable): [insert name] Jr., dong, junk, knob, prick, rod, tool, wand, wood
tier 5 (ridiculous, unacceptable, pls don’t): anything to do with beer cans, baby-maker, bishop, choad, donger, dragon, fuck wand, fun stick, hog, johnson, jimmy, lap rocket, little [insert name], love muscle/rod/stick, meat stick, one-eyed [anything], piston, private eye, schlong, trouser snake, wiener, winkie
tier 6 (you’re literally a fourth grader): baby arm, baloney pony, beaver basher, beef whistle, custard launcher, dude piston, flesh flute, heat-seeking moisture missile, krull the warrior king, luigi, mayo shooting hotdog gun, meter long king kong dong, pig skin bus, piss weasle, purple-headed yogurt flinger, purple-helmeted warrior of love, schlong dongadoodle, single barreled pump action bollock, spawn hammer, steamin’ semen truck, tan banana, thundersword, wang doodle, whoopie stick, wing wang doodle, yogurt shotgun
tier 3 (clinical,
too formal, but not cheesy):
groin, penis, phallus
Beep boop! I look for accidental haiku posts. Sometimes I mess up.
not the twitter migrants putting "reblog heavy" in their bios on here... like yeah. that's what we do here
ALTreblog heavy
